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| I'm not the Asian at the piano. |
1. I love to sing. If I know the lyrics or some of the lyrics to the song that's playing, I'm gonna sing it. So if you're one of those people that says "Who sings this song?" [answer] "then let them sing it" just shut up because I'm not going to let them sing it. Plus, if you ask me that question I will say I DO bitch! I sing mostly in the car and in the shower. Although, I don't want to irritate my domestic partner too much, so if it's in the shower I try to keep it not so loud. When I was in high school, I sang "The Sun" by Maroon 5 for the Seniors on Stage show. Here's of a picture of me. I had this whole idea of like a lounge singer type deal. It was one of the highlights of my life. (Ok maybe not but it was still pretty frickin awesome) It was so exciting and people seemed to think I did an ok job, so I don't think I'm too terrible at singing. My domestic partner says he likes it when I sing because it means I'm happy. :) He's right. He's also hot, in case you didn't know.
2. I’m 97% sure I don’t want to have kids. If you are a parent, please try not to take offense to this. I love kids, and I think kids are great. They are little joys and honestly the best stress relief ever (unless the kid is an asshole). I just don't know if being a mom is for me. I am really selfish and I don't think I can give up my ME time or my time with my domestic partner. He is kind enough to share his daughter with me, and she is perfect, so why would I need to have another kid? Honestly I am afraid of ruining my body and my vagina. Also, my heart would break for my child knowing that they are going through something hard, like every person on the face of the planet does. I would cry with my baby if he/she was sick, had a hard time in school, didn't have any friends, got broken up with, fell down, etc etc etc. Having a kid is FOREVER and I don't know if I have the strength to make it through forever being responsible for another human being. And once I'm not responsible, I think I'd be just as heart broken that my child would want to leave me for college or a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife or career or WHATEVER. There's still a 3% chance that I might change my mind one day, but for now, I'm not thinking about having a baby any time within the next 43 years.
3. I don’t think marriage is necessary. Again, don't get offended if you are happily married. I give kudos to you husbands and wives who are married and in love. It's just that so many marriages today are UNhappy ones and the shitty part about marriage is that they are so hard and ugly to get out of. Especially when you have kids because there is a lot of hate (at least for the most part) involved in divorce. Seriously, it should be just as hard to get married as it is to get divorced, because then I think people would take marriage more seriously. Maybe I am still severely shell-shocked from my divorce but really I think that being in a loving, committed relationship is just as good as marriage. I like the feeling knowing that my man is with me and wants to be with me, even though he is free to leave without having to go through 3 months to 18 years of agonizing divorce. Again, if you are married and it's working for you, congratulations. I have absolutely nothing against married folks and if you want to get married, go for it. I will be happy for you and support you in your decisions. Just make sure it's what you really want, because divorce is the worst experience ever. I would rather go to the dentist every day for a year than go through another divorce. And I HATE the dentist. Also, keep in mind that when you get married, you're kind of marrying into that person's family too. So you should make sure that his mom isn't a cunt, because she will end up ruining your lives.
4. I can make 3 tacos with my tongue. Look, see? (Also, my nostrils are crooked, there's a bonus thing you didn't know about me, unless you noticed already)
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| Congratulations, you're ugly! |
5. I’m extremely insecure and really full of myself at the same time. Maybe this is just part of being a woman and I hate it sometimes but hey, it's the way I am. I think I am insecure because I kind of had a hard time growing up (see my other post, I Am My Hair). In my mind, I'm still that geeky, gangly, awkward, weird kind of ugly chick. Also, and I think this is normal for every woman (unless you are REALLY full of yourself and a total narcissist) to see that other chicks are hotter or prettier or more beautiful or have better boobs or better legs or a better butt or no cellulite on their legs or no acne scars or straight nostrils or whatever then just kind of feel a little shittier about yourself. So, I guess I'm a little insecure in the looks department. But then, other times I see myself and I think, wow I'm really pretty or I see my body and think wow, I'm not that bad so it's really not so bad. I'm also really super shy (I know, you probably don't believe me) but when I meet new people, I get nervous and don't really know what to talk about. I seem to be too inappropriate for most people. BUT on the other hand, I think I'm really full of myself. I know I have a great personality and I know I'm a very loyal, very good friend. I know I am a great girlfriend, a great sister, and have a great personality. When I love someone I love them with everything I have and I know that no one will treat that person better than I will. So I guess that maybe growing up ugly and weird gave me a complex about my looks, but it made me make up for it with a personality. Yay! Also, I know I can be great at anything I want. Not just good, but great. Maybe I feel that way because I've never failed miserably at anything I've tried, and I tend to be naturally good at everything, but I truly believe in myself and know I can achieve greatness in anything I set my mind to.
6. I’m a worrier with anxiety attacks. I think I get this trait from my mom. I always go immediately to worse case scenario, and I hate it. Sometimes to the point where I get anxiety attacks. If someone isn't home when they're supposed to be, or if I tell someone "text me when you get home" and I haven't heard from them, I automatically think they got into a horrific accident or they are getting butt raped in some dark alley. I hate being a worry wart, and I even googled a few ways to stop worrying. I liked this one website, which talks about condensing all faults into one or something like that, but I can't find it now. A lot of times, I just have to tell the Michelle in my head to shut the hell up. That sounded kind of schitzo...
7. I can not stand judgemental people. The other night The Man and I were watching some show, I think it was Dallas Most Eligible or something, but there was this chick on there who automatically hated this one chick and was super rude to her for the simple fact that she was a single mom out for dinner one night. She started questioning why she wasn't still married and why she was so young and divorced with a baby who was at home motherless while the mom was busy being a whore eating dinner. I can not STAND when people judge others. Listen, I am not a person to get all holy or religious, but this is one thing I truly believe about God and Jesus - it's THEIR job to judge us, not ours. We should not be judging other people by their covers or by the way they live their lives. Their choices are theirs, and it's not anyone's place to judge. I like Howard Stern's way of thinking. He pretty much doesn't give a shit about what other people do or say as long as it doesn't affect him at all. Seriously, don't be judgemental. Don't tell me how to live my life and don't give me your opinion if I don't ask for it. I couldn't care less about what you think of me or my life. Ok, there are two instances that I will judge other people. I think you are a worthless sack of shit who should not be on the face of this planet if you are
a. someone who hurts children, emotionally, sexually or physically
b. racist or hate others because of their nationality, creed, religioun, sexual orientation, etc
8. I don’t care and I care too much at the same time. This is kind of like #5 in a way. When I care about something or someone, I care about it 100%. I don't half ass anything. So, If I consider you a true friend, I expect you to be as good of a friend to me as I am to you. If I commit to something, I follow through and I do not want to let anyone down once I say YES to soemthing or decide to do something. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. I get really sensitive about people or things I care about, and I can get really ethnic on your ass if you try to hurt those I care about or talk badly about things/people I care about. For everything else, I am extremely apathetic. Also, if you have given me a good reason not to like you, you are as good as dead to me. I don't care about your life anymore or anything that happens in it or to you.
9. I eat very strange combinations of things, like cheese and honey, eggs and Tapatio, carrots and salsa, peanut butter and popcorn, peanut butter and bananas stuffed with pretzels, applesauce and coffee creamer, ice cream and french fries, mashed potatoes with barbeque sauce...the list could go on and on...
10. I hate being stared at, so don't stare at me or I will say STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN really loud to you.
Number 9 is exactly your brother too!! Weirdos! ;-D jk
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