California Parts 3 and 4: Wine Country and Half Moon Bay

After the round at Pebble, we had to head out to Glen Ellen to check into our hotel, The Gaige House, about three hours away. We drove in the dark and as we drove through Glen Ellen it was even darker and kind of creepy. We got to the hotel at about 10:30ish and there was no one at the front desk. We had to figure out this hardcore secure mailbox and find our way in pitch black darkness for our room, which was so cute and cozy. The next two days: wine tasting and exploring Napa and Sonoma!  

The first day we drove a big loop up to Healdsburg back down to Sonoma, exploring the beauty of the wine country and stopping at wineries along the way. Although we didn't find any wines we loved, the experience was still awesome. The landscape was beautiful and the number of wineries was overwhelming! We learned about wine and growing grapes and skins and stressed out grape vines and hills and flat land and climates for wine grape growing. I still don't really know which wines go with certain foods best and I don't know how to pick up all the aromas and aftertastes and all that complicated stuff. I still love wine though! The two days of wine country exploration gave J and I the much needed rest and relaxation we needed. We hung out at our hotel and watched some old movies and ate at Saddles in Napa, which was probably the best meal we had while in California. The best part: a salad, the main course and a scoop of ice cream was just $24.99. HECK YES for the weekday special! J got a delicious steak, which he'd been craving all week. 

 
The second day of wine tasting began with a morning of J hitting golf balls (he can't help himself) in Yountville. Then we headed out for another adventure. We wanted to see some redwoods (but the Redwood National Park was toooooo far away) so we went to Guerneville Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserves. The trees were ginormous, and that's an understatement. We explored around, taking lots of pictures of the huge and beautiful trees. When we left the park, it was getting a bit late so we decided to go to Korbel and try some bubbly. This was actually the only place we bought some booze, and it was delish! We are looking forward to getting our shipment in the mail! We were only able to hit up one more winery before all of the tasting rooms shut down for the night. We headed back to Glen Ellen and ate dinner at the Glenn Ellen Inn Oyster and Martini Bar, where we had neither oysters nor martinis. We enjoyed an all American burger and fries and a glass of wine, just to keep it classy. We met some locals who seemed very happy to know that we weren't married but actually enjoying each other's company (for some reason some older married men have this weird thing where they think married couples can't be happy). When we got back to the hotel, we decided to take advantage of their jacuzzi and sat in boiling hot magma I mean water until we got too hot then jumped in the pretty cold pool. It was a great night, and we enjoyed our time very much in wine country.

On Saturday, which was our second to last day in California (boo) we made our way to Stanford to have some lunch and see the University. (FEAR THE TREE FOR IT IS SOOOO SCARY) J was patient with me and didn't kill me when I got impatient and hangry and was even nice and let me pick where to eat next. We went to Pizza my Heart in downtown Stanford which was ok. We walked around downtown, which is the nicest, cleanest downtown I have ever seen for a university town, then headed to the University. My domestic partner got to visit the only other college in the USA he would have attended, and it was really a lovely and large campus. Oh, also, I learned that Tiger Woods went there for some time, which I guess is another reason that J liked it so much...bless his golf-loving heart! When we were done exploring the campus, we decided where to go to next. The entire trip until that moment, we didn't know where we'd be spending our last night in California, which was kind of cool! We decided on Half Moon Bay, and OH BOY we were not disappointed!

Half Moon Bay is this super cute and beautiful at the same time little town on the beach. We stayed

the night at the Zaballa House, which was this cute bed and bath. (our bathroom didn't have a shower in it; instead a double soaker with a shower attachment on it that you had to sit in to use and I could NOT figure out the water temperature for the life of me, so I took a half shower that involved washing the most necessary body parts and shaving my legs in boiling hot magma) I had never stayed in a b&b before, and I love love love experiencing new things with my man. Well, it was new for me. He's traveled all over the world and done everything. Anyway I'm getting off track. We explored the town a little bit and I loved how into Halloween the whole town was. We ate at San Benito House and while we were there I talked about how bad I wanted to watch the sunset over the water. I looked up images of sunsets in Half Moon Bay, and The Ritz Carlton came up. J was like I KNOW THAT PLACE! and we scarfed down the rest of our food to make the sunset in time. It. Was. Stunning. J was able to get The Money Shot by balancing our camera on a fence and setting the ten second timer then sprinting to me out on a cliff. I must say the sunset will be forever etched in my memory. The night was young and we headed back to the bar at San Benito House before going back to the hotel to sleep our last night in California.

Morning came and after breakfast, we went back to the beach so I could take a momento back home. I found a big sea shell. It was time to head back to San Francisco. On our way there, we stopped at Mavericks Surf Shop and at a Fresh and Easy to get supplies for the last thing I wanted to do before going to the airport. It is the same thing that any 90's kid would do: have a picnic right where the Tanner Family did in Alamo Square, right across from their house!! It was the absolute perfect way to end the vacation, and J is the absolute best for fulfilling this wish of mine. And, with that, after that picnic it was time to come back home. We headed to SFO, turned in our gangster Chevy Impala, and waited for Flight 601 to Phoenix.

I had a wonderful time. The vacation couldn't have come at a better time, and it was a marvelous 10 days. There aren't enough words to describe just how awesome it was, but I am so glad that I got to experience (once again) the beauty and fun that was offered with my J. 

California Parts 1 and 2: San Francisco and Pebble Beach

September is almost over. It just got here and in 12 days it will be gone. September is cool. Lots of awesome things have happened in September for me. I was born in September, and so were lots of other people I love. I went on a wonderful vacation in September more than one September. September is such a nice month when it comes to the weather and overall I’d say September is lovely. 

I just got back from California after going on a marvelous vacation with my domestic partner. He will be hitting a milestone on his birthday in November, and we took this trip as an early celebration of that. He is a golfing fool so we went to the world famous Pebble Beach so he could play Spyglass, Spanish Bay and Pebble Beach. Although it must not be that famous for us twenty-something chick non-golfers because I never heard of it before I met J. Let me tell you, it was beautiful. And my J was like a kid in a candy shop the whole time, bless his happy heart. I love seeing him smile and his beautiful kind eyes sparkle. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you masses this or not but the sun shines and sets out of his perfectly round ass. I’m getting off track here. 

The vacation was stupendous. The first three days were spent in San Francisco. San Francisco is a neat city. It’s the City by the Bay and on hills that make your butthole clench up when you drive down them. The buildings are pretty and all right next to each other. Our hotel guy said that San Fran is 14 square miles, so nothing is ever more than seven miles away. We walked and biked every single mile. Our first day we walked about eight miles  through the city, Fisherman’s Wharf, Ghirardelli Square, Fort Mason, the Marina, Cow Hollow, Union Street, here and there and then we took a ferry tour around the bay and Alcatraz. After a long day of being walking tourists, we ended up at our cute little Hotel del Sol. We cleaned up for dinner and ate at Rose’s Café, which was recommended by the guy in the lobby at our hotel. The food was good but expensive and I think that night I would have preferred a big burrito or a greasy delicious hamburger. It was still very romantic with the twinkling lights sitting on the patio. After dinner, we were feeling unsatisfied so we went to have a few drinks at the Horseshoe Tavern. We watched the Giants play the Diamonbacks and sadly the DB’s got their asses handed to them in an almost perfectly pitched game. The bartender was so nice though and made J specially-made hot totties because he wasn’t feeling all that wonderful and was suffering from a lost voice all day. When we felt like we were tipsy enough we walked back to the hotel and hit the sack.

The next day, we decided that we’d practice for The Amazing Race and rented bikes from Blazing Saddles. We rode the bikes across the Golden Gate Bridge to Sausalito, (I almost got hit by a tour bus) and there were about 52 billion people there, so decided to ride the bikes all the way to Tiburon. The ride to Tiburon was beautiful (and scary at times, we rode next to two major freeways and I fell off once causing a concerned onlooker to run up and say “ARE YOU OKAY??? CAN YOU STAND??!” while I lay in the grass laughing at my clumsy ass self. Note to you assholes that walked RIGHT in front of my goddamn bike, watch where you’re fucking going) but I was glad to take a breather during a long lunch at Waypoint Pizza. I have never had a better tasting Diet Coke right out of the can before in my whole entire life. I was also thankful for the ferry that took us back to San Fran. By the time we rode the bikes back to Blazing Saddles from the pier we had gone over 18 miles and every teeny bump felt like someone was taking a sledgehammer to my pelvic bones. “They’re all nice and comfortable” says the Blazing Saddles guy. “Take the deluxe, it is great” he says. It was quite an adventure and I enjoyed 99.8% of it. We walked back to the hotel, where we cleaned up then headed out to have dinner at Tacolicious. The tacos were quite licious, and when we were done eating we were totally spent so headed back to the hotel to get some much needed shut eye.

By our third day in San Francisco, we were pretty tired from walking and biking everywhere, so we decided to take advantage of their awesome public transportation system. We took the electric bus to Chinatown, where there were 8 million Asians on the streets buying and selling things. We made our way to Union Square to do some shopping. My man received his first birthday present early; sucker even picked them out himself! I got him some new golf sunglasses and now his golf bag is 100% complete and loved. We spent a few hours in Union Square then headed back via bus to Webster and Lombard. We made our way to Pizza Orgasmica, where we had a few slices and beers while watching the 49er’s play the Packers. Once again, I was not rooting for the home team. This day we decided to go back to the hotel and chill out for the rest of the night. We had to wake up early to head out to Pebble Beach, J's heaven.

We headed out to Monterrey and it was really super foggy on our way out of San Francisco, but when the fog cleared the view was beautiful. We drove along the PCH taking our time, making stops where we could get some good pictures and made our way to 17 Mile Drive, where we listened to the playlist 17 Mile Drive. J couldn't be happier! We get to this exclusive neighborhood and it is so fancy and beautiful, then we pull up to the gate and into The Lodge to check in. We get J's clubs and make a quick run for lunch before coming back for him to play the first course, Spyglass.  He was super excited and the day was foggy and man am I glad I brought a sweater with me. The weather said it was going to be around 70 which in Arizona is still totally shorts weather. On Pebble Beach, not so much. It was overcast and foggy and breezy and downright freezing. We saw about 200 deer hanging out on the course, lots of beautiful trees with moss growing all over them, views of the water, and lots of green fairway grass. J played alright because he was just so excited and nervous and this was the first time on the course going without his clubs for a week while they were being shipped to California. It took about five hours to get through the 18 holes and when it was over I was chilled to the bone and decided my skinny ass needed some pants. We went to Sand City to a Target so I could get some yoga pants and also breakfast because the prices at The Lodge were just crazy. We ate dinner at a Chipotle and headed back to The Lodge so we could take advantage of the super soaker tub in the bathroom. It. Was. Fantastic. Day one at Pebble was a success. 

 

Day two was Spanish Bay, and I liked this course better than Spyglass. The first four or five holes were on the water, and even though it was cloudy again, it wasn't foggy so we were able to see more of the beautiful course and the beautiful landscape surrounding it. By mid morning the clouds cleared and it was sunny and gorgeous out. We saw more deer, and J started playing much better. Better than Tiger Woods better. He was walking with this father and son from North Carolina and the son reminded me of Forrest Gump so much I wanted to hug him. But I didn't. The course took about five hours again, but because J had an earlier tee time, we also had the afternoon to check out Carmel. It was a cute town, but wasn't my cup of tea. There were lots of boutiques where the owners make money ripping people off. We went to this restaurant called Rio Grill and it was gross. It wasn't worth the money and it definitely wasn't worth the four stars it got on Yelp. The beach at Carmel was very pretty though, the sand was white and soft and it was nice stopping there even though we didn't stay at the beach for long, because there was a bottle of champagne waiting for us at The Lodge. We took advantage of the wonderful fireplace in our room after exploring The Lodge and taking picutres. We enjoyed a night of champagne, fire, and each other's company. I'm pretty sure there is nothing better than that there trio.

Right by the 18th Hole

The next day, J had a tee time of 1:40pm, so we had time in the morning to visit Point Los Lobos, which is a state park near Monterrey that people ranted and raved about. We headed out early to check it out, and it was well worth the $8 to get in. We walked a short trail through the trees along the coast and did a second trail right out on the cliffs/water. It was as beautiful as everyone said it was. You could hear sea lions everywhere. We were lucky enough to see some sea otters, a white seal, AND a school of dolphins! It was awesome. We stayed for a couple hours, picked up lunch, then headed back to 17 Mile Drive.


 Now, it was time for THE Pebble Beach Golf Course. This is where boys become men. This is where golfers become legends. This is where The Parent Trap was filmed. This is where my domestic partner's dreams all came true. This was his heaven, and we both enjoyed every minute of it. I brought the big lens on the Nikon and was pretty much his paparazzi the whole time. I had a great time doing it and watching him be just so happy. He looked like a pro out there and even had a caddie who carried his clubs for him and told him about each hole. He was dressed sharp, had his happiest smile on, and the brightest twinkle in his eyes. It was super. This course took six hours to play but it didn't feel like it was that long at all. Time flies when you are having fun while surrounded by some of the most beautiful views you've ever seen. Pebble Beach definitely lives up to the hype. And then some. The weather was great. The views were amazing. We watched the sun start to set over the 18th hole. The whole experience was fantastic and surreal. It will be etched in my memory forever as one of the most magical days I spent with my handsome J....

I Don't Pop Mollies

This weekend has been lazy and productive at the same time. I think both is happening at the same time. 

It is September. It was just Christmas and now it's September. It's funny what a young man recollects. I don't remember being born and I don't remember my first outdoor picnic, but I do remember that when I was really young time was so slow. I felt like summer vacation lasted forever and five minutes seemed like an eternity. I had to wait like, ten years before I had my next birthday and now I blink and I have my first grey hair. It's a sick sad world.

This weekend I started cleaning the whole house and the domestic partner used lemons to

shine up the shower fixtures. Then he touched the loogie sink and then didn't wash his hands and LO AND BEHOLD now he is feeling sick. I still have to do the floors which is the most time consuming chore of the household chores because I am a hairy beast and shed at least eight pounds of hair each day. So I use my Kirby to vacuum all the hair and crumbs and dead skin cells off the floor (it is a great vacuum with a hard floor attachment, thanks, Mom) and then use my Hoover Twin Tank to steam all the tile. J loves vacuuming and is vacuuming fool so he usually does the carpet. I don't know why I went into so much detail about cleaning floors here but there you have it.

Anyway, in between all that cleaning I sat on the couch a lot and ate a lot of shit. I love my couch and I love eating shit too. Also, I colored for like three hours with Annie and listened to Britney Spears and Lady Gaga and watched my favorite Disney songs on YouTube. 

Khloe Keepin' it Klassy

At one point during this weekend, we were watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians and I know that those people are kind of really ridiculous and all, but I can't help but get hooked to the show every time I watch it. Khloe and Kourtney are my favorite of the Kardashians and I love Scott. Scott, Scott, Scott, here goes Scott, down into my belly, mmm, mmm, mmm. But not that I like him in that perverted way or anything, I just think he is the funniest stupid idiot ever. All of that is beside the point I am trying to make. LAND THE PLANE, LADY! The point of this is to tell you that Khloe thought she was losing her memory and then went under hypnosis and found out that she chose to block a lot from her memory because she didn't want to really deal with it. It being the whole OJ / Nicole thing and the fact that her dad died and all that sucky stuff that happened when she was an adolescent. And that made me wonder what I choose to block from my conscious memory. I bet it's a lot. 

Then I decided to have a stream of consciousness to see if my subconscious wanted to play because I used to do them quite often and it was neat. But that wouldn't really make for that interesting of a blog, and last night I woke up in the middle of the night because I was sweating out of every pore on my body. All of my genius ideas come to me in the middle of the night, but my subconscious must be an asshole because I never remember any of them the next morning. My subconscious is all, I'm going to hoard all the great ideas and YOU GET NONE because you are boring Michelle! Ooooh you're gonna buy my chicken, ooooooh!  And then it gives me these sick ass dreams. The other night I dreamed I had really fucked up genitals. I was standing naked in my parent's bathroom and I looked down and my vagina had grown a really long dick-like thing and then my vagina was at the end of it all normal. It was like a skin-colored elephant trunk with a vagina at the end instead of those elephant trunk finger-grabby-nostril-things and at first when I saw it I was like WHAT THE FUCK and then when I realized my vag was at the end of it I was like, oh ok cool, there it is, this is fine. I'm normal, I just have a really long vag.  And then I woke up and much to my relief I was still a woman. The crazy thing is that is not the first time I've dreamed I had a wanker. The other time(s) though I was excited about it and all of the cool new things I'd be able to do with it. 

In an unrelated next topic, today is my brother Kenny's birthday. He is 32 now. It's weird to think of him as a 32 year-old. We have kind of missed out on a lot of things in each others lives but recently my sister in law and I have started talking and decided to stop being such assholes and it's been a great thing because now we can move on to the next better chapter, which begins with us actually being family. It's weird to think of him being 32 because in my mind we are both still kids and not grown up. Growing up is weird and scary and sucky and responsibility sucks but one thing I like about being a grown up is being in control of what I will and will not do. [The other night before Annie went to bed she was all "I wish I wasn't a kid" and when I asked her why she said "Because kids have to close their eyes when it's bed time and I don't want to close my eyes. I wish I was a grown up so I could stay up when all the kids go to bed" and in my mind I pictured Billy holding that fat kid's face telling him "Don't you EVER say that. Stay here, stay as long as you can!!!!"] Well one of the things I've decided is to be a better family member and do my part to stay in touch with people better. Just because I am farther away isn't a good excuse not to know what is going on in my family's lives. Plus I love them all. That's an important tidbit to throw out there. 

So, on a happy note, 

Happy Birthday, Kenny!

Cowlicks and kidnipples

Do You Think I'm Lookin' Hot?

Maybe you guys don't know this about me but I love Gwen Stefani. I think she the beauty of a woman at its best. I've been on a No Doubt / Gwen Stefani kick lately and I have been listening to their albums in the bathroom and on my commute to and from work. I like all of the albums, some more than others but what I wanted to talk about here is how honest my woman crush Gwen is in her songs. She lets her crazy hang all out and she doesn't even care. And you know what? It's beautiful. Some of my favorite ND/Gwen songs are the ones where she lays out her insecurities allllll out there. Probably because at some point or another in my life, or every single solitary day, I can relate. 

Can you tell I'm faking it? But I want to be myself
A counterfeit disposition
Can't be good for my health
So many different faces
Depending on the different phases
My personality changes
I'm a chameleon
There's more than one dimension
I can fool you and attract attention
Camouflage my nature
Let me demonstrate...

Makeup's all off
Who am I?
Magic's in the make up
Who am I? 

This one is called "Magic's in the Makeup" and let me tell you, I can relate to this one figuratively and literally. I admit that I clean up well when I do my hair and makeup, but seriously I am too afraid to ever post a picture of myself on a working from home day, and it is a cold day in hell when I go out in public sans makeup. I look like a troll on it's deathbed. My makeup is my security blanket and my goal is to get a new face sometime in the near future. Figuratively, I can change my poker face or my personality depending on my mood or the audience. Sometimes it's a blessing and sometimes I scare myself. If you are one of the lucky few that know me even without my "makeup" you have seen every good bad and fugly side of me. You're welcome. And I'm sorry.

I just want to take you away from everyone
And keep you stashed under my pillow
And then I'd take you out simply for my own pleasure
And wear you when the occasion's special
Then I'd put you on like a diamond
So I can sparkle and be the envy of my friends
I'd proudly hold the leash that I'd have you on
So you can't stray and follow me around all day

That lovely piece of stage five clinger is "Too Late". This song is so pretty but when I listen to the lyrics, it can hit close to home. There are times when I feel very clingy and selfish and I've told my domestic partner several times that I wish I could hide him away in my pocket and take him every where I go and take him out when I want a kiss or a cuddle. Creepy I know. But I also feel very possessive over other things too. Like my specific flavors of yogurt or cereal I get for myself. Or work I do that I want credit for. This one goes way deeper than these superficial examples and I could write a whole blog just for that verse up there.

Ok now, I understand he's on his way now

But geez Louise, I mean today now

I can't wait, I wanna play now

I'm antsy, bubble pop electric pansies

My sweet tooth, I want your candy

The Queen of Eng' would say it's "randy"

  

That would be "Bubble Pop Electric" by Gwen. Sometimes, I just really need to get banged.

You had the best
But you gave her up
'Cause dependency might interrupt
Idealistic will so hard to please
Put your indecisive mind at ease
You broke the set
Now there's only singles
There's no looking back
This time I mean it

"Happy Now" by ND is the anthem for all of our exes that should remember that what they did that made our hearts break totally sucks and that they are stupid motherfuckers for letting go of the best thing that ever happened to them. Good luck with finding anyone who is even half as awesome as I am. I hope you're happy now. 

Such a cute girl, I'm so jealous

I wish I looked exactly like her

What's it like to have that body?

I'm gawking while I wonder

"Staring Problem" aka exactly how I feel about Gwen and a good percentage of chicks at the gym. Things I wish I had and am totally jealous of: perfect skin and cellulite free legs that are the same goddamn size. I know we're supposed to love ourselves and not compare ourselves to other women but seriously, some women are sofa king hot that you can't help but stare and wish you had the qualities she does. Little do I know maybe she's looking at me wishing she had my hair or teeth or fivehead.

This shit is bananas

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Enough said.  

The army of words is in me
Silent the soldier weeps
Lying here back to back
Waiting for you to be react

Sometimes all I need is a good push
Roll over and whisper some goodness
Go on baby you be the hero
Now can we go back to zero?

"Start the Fire" by ND describes perfectly how stupidly stubborn I can be. I hate having a fight with anyone and when it's all said and done even though I want the other person to make the first move and say "I'm sorry" the whole time I know I'm wrong too and it's only a matter of time before we kiss and make up. If my partner and I fight, I am just being stupid 9 times out of 10 and the next morning my stupidity is gone and I say let's go ahead and forget that ever happened and I'm sorry now let's make out.

Go ahead and look at me
‘Cause that’s what I want
Take a good look won’t you please
‘Cause that’s what I want

I know you wanna stare
You can’t help it and I don’t care
So look at me
‘Cause that’s what I want

"Lookin' Hot" because when I do my hair and makeup I am hot n boss n have all the right curves in all the right places and YUP I IS FINE. Especially after 4 tequila sunrises. So when I take the time to look good, I want you to notice. Otherwise we take two steps backwards and end up at "Staring Problem".

I'd get me four Harajuku girls to
Inspire me and they'd come to my rescue
I'd dress them wicked, I'd give them names
Love, Angel, Music, Baby
Hurry up and come and save me

 

 "Harajuku Girls" by Gwen. I have one question. Who doesn't want an Asian posse? 

And finally, because me and my woman crush Gwen are really just suckers for love:

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most...

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up...

Running, running
As fast as we can
I really hope we'll make it
We're running
Keep holding my hand
It's so we don't get separated